I'm feeling so down these days. I get these brief, shooting stabs of hope, like little lightning strikes, and then I'm mired again in the rain.

The past eight years have shown me that (1) cheaters win, (2) the worst can happen, and (3) everything that was ever good about the United States is now in the past. Our president is a war criminal, responsible for thousands of deaths. He has trashed our economy to make his cronies rich, and broken the backs of the poor and the middle class.  His policies have worsened global warming to the point where it might be irreversible.  

And he's going to get away with it.  He's going to retire to somewhere other than his false front in Crawford, Texas and live a life of luxury while people like us write book after book about the evil he did.

The Gods and Goddesses of apathy are speaking to me here in the wee fucking hours, They are making great sense.

Politics is a strange interest to have in a Democracy that celebrates individualism. You really shouldn't care a worm's ass what other people think as you pursue happiness. Eat what you want. Who cares what the restaurant reviews say. Get strength or amusement out of whatever entertainment you choose. You really shouldn't take comfort in being in synch with the masses. They loved Milli Vanilli for chrissakes. So why in a two party system where the policy interests of each party are as defined as the differences in a fast food hamburger stand and a vegetarian cafe, as well defined as the difference between a heavy metal band and a string quartet, should we give a shit about the wishy-washy assholes who take us from an Obama 4 point lead to a McCain 1 point lead?

I have been thinking a lot lately about the problem presented by global climate change and people’s reaction, or lack of reaction, to the mounting evidence.  I have a way of thinking about it that I would like to share.  As I see it we stand at a crossroads in our history.  We have three paths to choose from in moving forward into the future.  Denial, Despair or Hope the choice is up to us.

Regardless of what you think about the seminary student who stole Obama's unsigned prayer left in Jerusalem's Western Wall... Barack's most intimate thoughts are now a piece of our culture.

One word from the prayer that drew a lot of instant attention was "pride." Barack asking the Lord to help him guard against pride satisfied some that he was aware of that tendency in himself -- which is particularly relevant these days, as charges of arrogance seem to be one of the most popular lines of attack.

But I haven't seen much said about the word that most struck me: "despair."

According to Random House, the first definition of the word is loss of hope; hopelessness.

Now isn't that interesting?

I subscribe to a number of GOP email thingies, for fabulous, free entertainment informational purposes.

Today, I got a notice about a talking-points conference call, and thought it might be of interest here, so I'll paste it, over the fold; mind the staple.

I'm still worried

First let me clarify the title by saying that this is not a Clinton would do better diary (she has as much chance of winning now as Kucinich), nor is this concern trolling, as I see this election as ours to lose and Obama has to be favored right now.  What I am going to write about though are a few of the reasons that will cause Obama to lose should they become (thanks to our beloved media) major campaign issues.

Days off, just sitting around the house waiting for it to be time to go back to work. That's no way to live, filling up my hours with mindless entertaining crap while I wait for the clock to come back around again. My wife and I are just roommates who happen to share a bed. We have different schedules. Occasionally we pass by one another, one going to bed, one going to work. Hi, bye. Sleep well, have a good day.

I can find no way out of this wage slave tedium. It's a clever trap designed by the gluttonous masters of commerce to fill their bellies with the hours and years hanging from our lives like rich glistening fruit. As they grow fatter my years grow leaner. I grow grayer and more wrinkled, my youth now just a melancholy memory.

This essay is pretentious, overwrought, breathless and reaching mightily for some GRAND TRAMPLING IDEA, but it is mine own. Join me beneath the cut, won't you?

I've fallen for the trap yet again.  I swore I would never get my hopes up again, not after Gore in 2000, not after Kerry in 2004, nope, never again.  Until...

Last night in my household was difficult.  The Pennsylvania results sent me into a state of virtual despondency, and a pall descended over an otherwise frenetic and vibrant family normally quickened by the optimism of the two young college-aged adults in residence.  We were indeed a sad lot, until a most extraordinary thing occurred.

As I sat licking my wounds and despairing for the future of our Republic, my son and I suddenly found ourselves completely transfixed by a late-night PBS airing of David Haig's excellent anti-war drama, My Boy Jack.

Quite by happenstance, and perhaps even by grace, two generations experienced simultaneously a reminder of exactly why we are joined together in this battle and why we will see it through to the finish.

John McCain

An expanded version of this diary is cross-posted at Very Hot Jews.

This year, as ever, a lot of us will participate in a ritual that celebrates freedom. And as always, we'll be asked to consider the ways in which we're still somehow enslaved – to our obsessions, our emotional baggage, our chemical dependencies and other bad habits.

Like every year, we'll be enjoined to recall our people's past sufferings and – at least at our table – to consider how we are obligated to witness and, if possible, alleviate the sufferings of Jews and non-Jews alike, everywhere in the world.

We'll parse the symbolic importance of the items on our seder plates, and the youngest child (ever more precocious and performance-oriented) will charmingly enunciate the four questions about why this night is different from all others.

But I've got a question of my own (I can't help it – I'm the youngest sibling myself): How will this year be different from all others?

It has been interesting to hear from those of you still living in "Bittersville", USA (which of course exists simultaneously in many different States). There are stages to the reaction that small town America goes through as their economy is dismantled and shipped overseas.

My little town has declined for some thirty years as the industry located here moved early and we long since evolved into "Despairville". I suggest many of you in "Bittersvillle" face the same fate unless things change.

At least those who are bitter may still muster activism. And perhaps your kids may still think education is desirable and attainable, but despair can help change that for you also. Come below the fold for more.

I have to tell you, I have never been closer to utter despair. I fully realize my station as no more than the eyelash on the face of a microscopic dust mite resting on the head of a pin and all that. Unfair that I don't enjoy the blissful ignorance of the mite. As Voltaire rightly pointed out, "Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills."

I come here every day looking for the breaking news that will stop the horror and hideousness of ... well, everything. The war, the economy, the politicians, the primary, the environment, the housing slump, the cost of a loaf of bread and a dozen eggs and a college education. I come here, frankly, looking for a headline that tells me what to do and what to make of it all. But I'm getting tired, and more and more depressed. For the first time in my life, I am without optimism of any sort.

Jump off the head of the pin with me, my fellow mite, if you want to talk with me some more.

I'm a lifelong Democrat.  After the GOP had screwed up the last 7 years, I figured the Dems would have and easy victory in 2008.  Now I think the national election is already lost.  Regional Democratic candidates should now be the priority.

The Clinton strategy is to keep the popular vote and delegate deficits as close as possible while trying to inflict sufficient damage on Obama that he becomes a non-viable national candidate. That, they hope, will lead to a broad consensus in the party that running with Obama simply isn't realistic and superdelegates flocking en masse to Clinton. The collateral damage of success on those terms would be vast. But there's some limited evidence that she's making progress on that front

While browsing for some commentary on the Bear Stearn's collapse, I caught this headline from Newsweek.

He can sit back while the Dems tear each other to shreds.

No kidding. Not only that the GOP may get bailed out in some tight congressional races too. I participate on another board that has a high mix of GOPers and Dems. No echo chambers there. The GOPers Can't believe their good fortune. Not only do they have a chance of winning they may not have to spend a bloody fortune to do it. How great is that. They don't have to give up any of their winnings from the last 8 years to maybe get another 4-8 years.

The Michigan/Florida delegate mess does prove one thing: We're lucky Howard Dean did not win the Democratic nomination last time around. The man is no chief executive. Sorry, Deaniacs, but it's true. His DNC leadership is steering the Democratic Party straight into the ditch.

As I watch the Democrats self-immolate during this election, which should have been a slam-dunk for the party, I have to seriously question its abiity to lead this country at all, ever again.

From its ineffectual performance in Congress since the midterms to its fratricidal primary warfare, the Dem party seems determined to prove that it has outlived its usefulness.